To Be Truly Together, You Must Spend Time Alone

This picture was one of many I took during my time at Starved Rock State Park this past Sunday. Do not be surprised if a number of my future posts are centered around pictures taken there during my past and future trips there. It is an amazing and peaceful place, so if you have a free afternoon, or even if you don’t, please do yourself a favor and plan a trip out there.

This particular snap shot was taken at the Beehive Overlook, which by no accident, “overlooks” the Illinois River. Taking a seat on the conveniently placed bench, I looked up and saw a phrase someone scribbled on the barrier boards. The phrase read “To be truly together, you must spend time alone.” This phrase really resonated with me for a number of reasons, mainly because I think it personifies what it means to find and sustain the perfect relationship.

Photo Credit: Ryan Magnuson/Trail BlazerRy
Photo Credit: Ryan Magnuson/Trail BlazerRy

To me, the phrase is saying that first, you must figure out who you are as a person and what makes you completely happy before you can fully devote yourself to another person. One thing we often forget about relationships is that they are not for the selfish. When you enter a bond as sacred as this, it is no longer about you; it is about the other person. You need time alone to figure all of this out. After you have figured out who you are, what makes you most happy, and have found someone who you would do absolutely anything for, you must then discover ways to enjoy your time away from them. Part of loving someone is wanting to spend a lot of time with them, but your time alone within the relationship is crucial. Life can be extremely routine and frustrating at times, even with someone you care about so deeply about, so it is important for both of you to take a step back and re-charge the batteries from time to time. Seeing a movie, going for a run, and having a guys/girls night are just a few of the things you can do to clear your head and get a fresh perspective. Not only will you come back feeling great, but you will also be able to better enjoy the time you have with your partner.

I’m not a relationship expert by any means, but I have been on this earth long enough to understand what people are looking for. Many of us want great careers, to travel the world, etc., but there is nothing quite like finding someone who brings to mind the the ideas of “They’re it for me” and “All I want is to make this person happy.” It takes hard work, sacrifice, understanding, and a little bit of patience to get there, but I’m a firm believer that this person is out there for everyone. When the time is right, you will know it and so will they.

To better appreciate your time together, you must spend time alone.



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