Fear

This picture was taken today on my night drive. For those of you who know me, I am obsessed with sunsets and take advantage of every opportunity to capture them. As spring approaches, the days are getting longer, so I know my best chance to view these sky paintings in all their glory is around the five o’clock mark.

This snapshot in particular was taken on Molidor Road near the Grant Park District, which is a couple miles down the road from my house. This is a place where I routinely see some of the best sunsets in the area during the summer, but made the decision today to get some winter shots. This decision was very spur of the moment, as I sprung off the couch like a little kid on Christmas, threw on some warm clothes, and hopped in the car. I sped down the road, chasing a sunset I may not get to see, but I had faith that I would get there in time. Turns out, I did.

Last week in church, I heard a message that shook me to the core. The subject of the message was fear, which is something that is very apparent in all of our lives. The world we live in today is a very scary place for a number of reasons, mainly because there is so much that is uncertain and out of our control. Where will I live? What kind of job will I have? Will this job be able to provide for me and my family? Will I ever find someone to do life with? Will I continue to stay healthy? Will I be happy down the road? Will I get through the inner-struggles I deal with everyday? There are a million more questions one could ask when pertaining to fear, but all lead to the same place. This place is the unknown.

Photo Credit: Ryan Magnuson/Trail BlazerRy
Photo Credit: Ryan Magnuson/Trail BlazerRy

The unknown is referred to in this way because we truly do not know what will happen to us or how things will turn out. The only thing we can do is listen to God, make the decisions we feel led to make, and trust that we will end up exactly where we are supposed to be. The faith and trust we have in God alone is enough to silence any fear we will come across in our lives. He would never lead us into something that He wouldn’t lead us out of.

There is a verse from the book of Joshua in the Bible that has constantly come across my path over the last couple of months.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go”- Joshua 1:9.

This verse is special to me for a number of reasons, whether it makes me think about certain people who mean the world to me or important aspects of my life. I know I am not where I want to be and I wish things were clearer when it came to life, love, etc. I get scared all the time that I will never find the person for me, have a family, find a great job, or be able to live out my passions.

As much as I think about these things and the fear that comes along with them, I know that God made me the way I am for a reason. I have stood strong in who I am and allowed my big heart to lead the way, fully knowing I could be judged, hurt, and stomped on. Despite the uncertainty, I continue to live in an unselfish way, valuing the happiness of others over my own. It is a huge risk, I know, but I cannot help but think that things will work out for me eventually and that the right person or people will allow me into their lives in the same way I have allowed them into mine. That is who God made me to be and I would not trade that for anything.

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