This picture was taken during the last week of March on an early morning drive back home. I was heading south on Wilson Road and I had the best view when I looked over my left shoulder.
The scene in the picture is of Long Lake, which is part of the Chain O’ Lakes. I see some pretty cool sunrises and sunsets here, and this spring morning gave me yet another. There are so many things contributing to this awesome view, including the still-bare trees, the lonely train tracks, the stillness of the calm water, and the bright, orange sun peaking over the tree-line in the distance. I could stare at this all day.
Life has a funny way of keeping the already humble, patient people even more humble and patient, and no one would know this better than me. Being someone who thinks a lot, sometimes too much, I always wonder why the things I long for seem so far away. It is not the lack of material things that has me feeling less than full; I could really care less about those most of the time. It is the desire for things such as companionship, having a family, being satisfied with what I’m doing, and finding ways to enjoy life that keep me wondering.
While all these things are very much achievable, they are not things that can necessarily happen over night, which is what I struggle to comprehend. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem putting the time in to figure out how to make things happen. I am very patient in that respect. My issue lies in my decision-making process: Do I leave the doors which could lead to these things open or do I slam them shut?
An outsider looking in would tell me the decision is easy; leave them open. By shutting a potential door to happiness, you never know what you may have missed out on. I agree with this notion and the truth behind it 100%, but I do not always follow the advice. Being someone who goes into things with a positive outlook and only the best intentions, I have no problem taking a risk and committing myself fully to something if I believe in it. However, putting everything on the line and having it not work out the way you want it to can leave a person confused, frustrated, and bitter. I feel this way all too often, which I feel warrants my slamming of another proverbial happiness door.
Over the course of my life, I have closed several doors, but not without much thought. I think I ultimately do it to protect myself. When I care about something or someone, I really care, so the thought of putting everything out there and having it not work out scares me.
What I have come to realize over the past couple of months is that I need to keep putting myself in front of these doors. I need to walk through them, see where they lead, and have the courage to keep them open. Just because something did not work out at one point in time, doesn’t mean the same thing will happen down the road. I need to have faith, throw my fears aside, and know that everything could change with time. Through prayer and continued development of myself, staying open will become easier. Keeping those doors open might just payoff in ways I never thought were possible.