How to Settle the Right Way

The term settle has multiple meanings. It can mean resolving or agreeing on something. You can “settle down” somewhere and become more of a permanent fixture in an area. You can also settle by becoming comfortable in a situation. I want to reflect a little on the last meaning, associated with comfort.

Comfort is not a bad thing and by its very nature, brings peace and harmony into our chaotic lives. We are always doing so many things and our involvement can cause stress across several areas of our lives. The stress can be crippling and this idea of comfort brings forth positive feelings, a good sense of purpose if you will. It allows us to wake up in the morning and have something to look forward to.

As good as comfort is in regards to how we settle, what if that same comfort cripples you? What do I mean by this? Say you are in a difficult place in your life and you are gasping for air. Maybe things are not going your way right now and the only thing you want is to catch some form of break. You think to yourself “If one thing will go my way here, everything else will fall into place”. This is not an unreasonable way to think and oftentimes, a single thing can make a difference. What you need to consider is how temporary comfort can be and how important listening to your gut is. No amount of temporary comfort in the world is worth the regret you can feel by not listening to your gut. If your gut tells you to be uncomfortable for a little longer so you can settle into a better situation, listen to it.

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Photo Credit: Ryan Magnuson

My world is not the same as it was before. As of last weekend, I entered a new chapter of my life and I am in the midst of trying to set myself up in a new place. The next few months are going to present some difficulties (i.e. finding somewhere to live, finding the right job, planning a wedding, being away from home, and building new connections), but what I need to remember is how important my gut really is. I cannot settle on a place to live because of its convenience. I cannot settle on a job and view it as a stepping stone to the next thing. I cannot rely on temporary comfort to ease my nerves because it will all fade just as quick as it got here. I need to listen to my gut and act upon what it is telling me, even if it means struggling or being in the dark for a little longer. I need to have faith and trust in my journey. I need to settle in the right way.

What are you struggling with now? What do you feel like you are “settling” in? What does your gut tell you to do? When you are in a tough place, ask yourself these questions. Be honest with yourself, even when you are not a fan of the answers that come back. More than anything, know that you are not alone in your struggles and that we are here to listen. Settling is good if it is done in the right way. Settle the right way.

 

-R.M.

 

 

 

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