In its simplest terms, the word “change” means “to become different”. We can change or become different when it comes to a number of things in regards to ourselves and our lives. We can change where we live, what we do, what we eat, where we go, what we say, and how we approach things. We can experience different emotions or feelings in regards to change, whether it be excitement, anxiousness, sadness, indifference, confusion, or relief. Regardless of its meaning or how we feel based on its many outcomes, one thing about change is forever constant: it will happen whether we want it to or not.
Everyone approaches change differently, but I feel as if a good majority of people have some amount of fear when approaching a shift in how life used to be. This change thing brings about uncharted waters and we become subject to the all-over tingles and a pit in our stomachs. We like how things are and are comforted by, well, comfort. We could care less that we were not growing or improving our lives by doing what we always do. We were just content.
I have experienced a number of changes in my life over the past two years, but things have been amplified tenfold over the past three months. I knew I would be moving to Michigan in the summer, but I was not sure when, so I felt caught in the middle ground. I am a very patient person by nature, but being caught here drives me crazy. I had been looking for a job, but my leads were not taking me anywhere meaningful. I had no idea where I was going to live and I felt like I needed to be over there to move my life forward. When my commitments in Illinois came to an end, I spent a week in west Michigan looking for places to live and working on my job situation a little more, which did not yield the results I wanted.
The day before I headed home, my fiance’ and I found a nice townhouse in the area and signed a lease, which felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I finally had a place I could call home. I would officially be able to move in the next Monday, but I had a number of other things on my plate which would amplify the change and the feelings associated with it. I still had to find a job, turn this house into a home, and take steps to becoming a resident (Tons on my plate= Antsy Ryan).
Over the next two weeks, I would experience several ups and downs, which drove both me and my fiance’ a little batty. I was able to start shopping and furnishing our new place, but our furniture needed to be ordered, so I could not stay there. Our landlord was not very informative about getting accounts switched over, so I had to spend time navigating the phone lines and dealing with technology issues (which I detest). I was finally able to land an in-person interview and accepted a job with a very cool company in the area, but I felt nervous about this new trek. I just want to do well enough and provide for my family and not knowing what to expect left me with knots in my stomach. On top of all of this, I am trying to navigate a new place and become acclimated (get a new license and insurance, figure out the roads, make sure all my bills are paid, etc.). It has been tough little stretch and all I wanted was to breathe a little bit!
After everything I have been through, I feel some relief and know I am going in the right direction. I still have things left on my plate and I get anxious, but I am ahead of where I was yesterday. I think once I am finally settled in, have a space to call my own, start my job, and have a routine going, I will feel a whole lot better. Until then, I need to keep rolling with the punches and taking things one day at a time. What kinds of change are you experiencing in your life? Are you feeling troubled or anxious about changes to come? Whatever they may be, know that they are not bigger than you or your life. They are simply part of it. It is up to you to deal with them as they come and use them to grow. When you look back on your life, you will see how much stronger they made you. For that, you can be thankful.